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Respond only as a Peer

1. state up front you want a rational, calm discussion and will only proceed based on one.
2. if denigrated, talked down to, shouted down, interrupted, or otherwise treated as an inferior, forcefully interrupt and state that you will respond only to simple statements without loaded body language or harsh tones, and you will not tolerate being interrupted. if shown this courtesy you will gladly respond in kind.
3. do not yell or be abusive in return.
4. if you become angry, halt the discussion briefly until you are again calm.

Propose instead of Demand

1. propose a solution or a compromise
2. demands bring up defensive behaviour and stall rational discourse
3. always move towards a positive outcome

Don't Fall for Framing

1. listen to context
2. reflect complex statements back as simple sentences, ask for confirmation

Stick to the Facts

1. reasons and emotions generally don't count, don't waste time saying or listening to them.
2. stick to proposing solutions to the issue.
3. remember: what has past is gone. move forward

Stay on Message

1. don't be distracted
2. answer derails quickly then immediately return to your issue
3. a written agenda is not a bad thing

You May Fail

Some people just won't deal with you on these terms. In this case, all you can do is speak calmly and keep your cool. If you can't do that, walk away.